If you’re wondering which countries make up Trump’s shithole list, you’ve come to the right place. The Blue Juice has broken down the data: behold, a three part questionnaire to determine whether or not a country you reside in (or want to travel to) is a presidentially certified “shithole.”
(Question 1) The Basic Exemption Is the country you are inquiring about Russia or Norway? If you answered Yes, rest assured, Trump does not consider it a shithole. Unfortunately, if you answered No to this question, you must proceed to Question 2.
(Question 2) The Melanin Qualification When describing the majority of the country’s population, would President Trump consider the inhabitants non-white? If the answer is yes—or the population self identifies as white but tans well and falls into the category of an “olive” complexion—it’s possible this is a shithole country. Please proceed to Question 3 to make the final determination.
(Question 3) The Friendship Through Financial Assistance Clause Have any prominent leaders of the country laundered money through Trump Tower real estate, or contributed large amounts of money to Trump’s presidential campaign? If the answer to this question is Yes, congratulations, you may qualify for a shithole exemption. Please see publication SE-2017 on the irs.gov website. If you answered Yes on Question 2, and a No on question 3, the country is, without a doubt, a shithole.
Stay tuned for a very special Blue Juice report on the country of Haiti, titled What We Love About Haiti and Why Trump is An Asshole.